Three Ways to increase Self-Esteem.
Self-esteem is a commonly discussed thought process that affects all age groups, genders, and walks of life. An exorbitant amount of emphasis is put on processes and strategies on how to maintain a healthy level of self-esteem. But what truly is self-self esteem?
Self-esteem Defined
According to a research study done by the California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal Responsibility (1990) self-esteem is the ability to appreciate your self-worth and importance while still being able to be accountable for yourself and “act responsibly towards others.” Self-esteem, therefore, is directly tied to self-worth and by raising self-worth, it can be reasoned that self-esteem itself can also be raised. According to a study by R.F. Baumeister, “self-esteem is literally — — by how much value people place in themselves.” He goes on to say that the promotion of desirable behaviors has a great effect on the value of one’s overall view of their self-esteem. Baumeister, et al (2003) also states that rewarding those good behaviors over time will effectively boost the overall sense of self-worth, therefore, maintaining overall high self-esteem.
The book, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, (Branden, 1994) points to an “increase in self-respect” as a way to truly boost one’s overall outlook. According to Branden (1994), the raising of self-esteem is attributed more to the elimination of negatives, than it is to increase positives. The improvement of a person’s self-esteem focuses on three areas: self-acceptance, self-responsibility, and self-assertiveness. (Branden, 1994)
Self Acceptance
With self-acceptance, the person is required to take ownership of all of their actions. As Braden (1994) states, “when individuals deny or disown their experience, when they reject their thoughts, feelings or behaviors as ‘not me’” their motivation is self-preservation. However, they are effectively doing more hard than good for their overall self-esteem. With self-acceptance comes the acceptance of one’s actions as their own, which exerts a level of control, therefore, raising self-esteem.
Self-Responsibility
Self-responsibility ensures that the individual has inner strength. Branden states, “when we look to others to provide us with happiness or fulfillment or self-esteem, we relinquish control over our life.” Relying on others does not take the place of one’s ownership over their lives and decisions. Branden states carrying one’s weight without relying on others fosters an overall sense of self-worth.
Self- Assertiveness
The third and final way to increase one’s sense of self-esteem is by focussing on self-assertiveness. Self-assertiveness can be achieved by “acknowledging one’s needs, wants, values, and judgments and seeking appropriate forms of their expression in reality.”(Branden, 1994) Branden (1994) goes on to state that the trick is to find culturally acceptable ways to be self-assertive.
Final Thoughts
These three ways follow through on the advice given by Baumeister et al(2003), in which, a “person performs or behaves better, self-esteem is encouraged to rise.” He continues, “ a focus on improvement, in particular, allows people to compare themselves against themselves so that they do not have to boost themselves at the expense of others.” Therefore self-improvement becomes the ideological route for improving self-esteem. (Baumeister et all 200)
References
Baumeister, R. F. et al. (2003) ‘Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?’, Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 4(1), pp. 1–44. doi: 10.1111/1529–1006.01431.
Branden, N. (1994). The six pillars of self-esteem. New York: Bantam.
California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility. (1990). Toward a state of self-esteem. Sacramento: California State Department of Education
Mcnab, L Warren, PhD, FAAHE, FASHA (1999) Improving One’s Self-Concept: Coping with Faults, Flaws, and Excuses, Journal of Health Education, 30:4, 252–253, DOI: 10.1080/10556699.1999.10604648
